We all know that mum that glittered in a fabulous city  for a few years, in a great (tiny) flat, on an amazing street, that she stumbled home on, night after champers and laughter filled night, shod in impossibly high two week salary shoes, and clad in sample sale couture…the best days, nights and mornings of her life.  Until baby, of course.

She now lives in the Midwest, or the “nice” ‘burbs somewhere out East, and actually puts money into her 401K.  She has a savings account.  And flats.  And knickers that are not meant to be seen.  Ever.

Doesn’t she deserve a shower gift that reminds her that she used to smell like 4am smokey bars, and not organic formula spit?

A wee homage that will actually work in a nursery – as heavens knows she forewent sports or fairy themes for something bolder and more graphic.  (Like that Art Director she once dated from Munich….)

Red Letter Words makes these word canvas  blocks that she will love, and  can use to teach her little one her favourite words like “London”, “SoHo” and “Rome”….

Ah, if only you knew mummy before her breastfeeding bra….

We all have that b*&buster friend who is brilliant at her career, amazingly strong when you aren’t and who always has at least three bottles of bubbly in the fridge (though, that’s usually all that’s in there).  She also always has tickets to dazzling events that others would sell a liver for (neither of you could ever do such a thing, as your livers are…well, foie gras). She’ quite simply: fantastic.  Until….

It’s not that this friend isn’t happy for you when you reveal, after a glass of champers, and in an almost apologetic voice, that you are preggos.  She is. Really, she is.  It’s just that she thought you may share a room with her at Canne, and what about that week she’ s already booked in Chamonix? And now…well…this.  And she has known so many other girls that were once sparkling and scintillating, girls who once could discuss Dada to Doha, that now sound like…well…boring daft cows.  There it is.  That’s what she really thinks, and she can’t tell you, because you look so happy and she adores you.

And then you spring on her, months later, that you are creating  an organic nursery and having an organic shower?! It’s enough to drive her to vodka. Well, in fact it does just that. You didn’t care about organic when you both smoked pack after pack of cigarettes at Bondai after a night of fabulous mercury laden sushi at that gorgeous place in Kensington, wearing dubiously chemically treated new leather boots, with g-d knows how many phthalates in your hair. Which looked fabulous, by the by. You certainly didn’t care about organic back when you were…FUN.  And now she’s expected to find some store named Green Genes, where they play whale sounds with Peruvian flute backup, where the shop girl plans to nurse her son through college, and buy you some horrible little thing made by women who call their husband “Sir”?  No.  This, she simply cannot do. Not even after a Xanax. Or even two.

This post is for her.

The Green Baby Gift Box  is a brilliant and adorable little business that takes the pain (most of it, anyway), out of finding green baby gifts. They have already chosen a menage of gifts, in different themes, and packaged them up in a pretty little box. Point, click and ship. Painless and easy.

The Cynical Friend should be directed to this site which has just enough, but not too many choices, to buy a green shower gift, as she can do so in less time than it takes to uncork a bottle of champagne.

But if you ever mention “poopy diapers”, or tell her a “funny story” that involves spit up – you’ll never hear from her again.  Ever.  Though she will, it is true, miss you.  From Canne.

I recently finished the brilliant, but tragic story, of Joan Root, a naturalist film producer and conservationist, who was murdered over….flowers.

What we never think about (or perhaps, just I didn’t), was that flowers grown overseas, are grown with zero to little (really, zero), environmental regulation, or consideration to humane labour laws. As the countries most of our flowers are grown in are poor - ”laws” are quite disposable – especially when money is involved. Most especially greenbacks.

So, in places like Africa, flowers have been grown with no regard to the effect pesticides and other deadly chemicals would have on  nearby water sources, air, wildlife, or the humans that harvest them – as long as some guy in Petosky can stop by the Piggly Wiggly on his way home and grab a bouquet when he is late.  Again.

So, what guilt free flowers to send when you can’t attend a shower, or after your college roommate, who always shared her clothes, and best conditioner with you , has a baby? Organic, fair trade flowers! How happy making is this sunflower bouquet?!

(Even FTD has eco friendly options now, but I prefer supporting all organic businesses.)

I LOVE the herb and spice bouquet at California Organic Flowers, which I think that any culinary friend would truly swoon over.

And who doesn’t need a wreath?

Whatever petals or herbs you choose, do try to be sure that they are as conflict free as possible.

Flowers shouldn’t be that kind of to die for.

Though not one of things that mamas dream of buying, you will need a basic baby care kit. Seems easy enough, no? No. Most of the baby kits that you will find use BPA , PVC and Phthalate riddled plastic and bits. Yuck. But this kit, which I ordered from www.Giggle.com, is free of those evil lurkers.

You may also get (modern looking) safe baby care kit products from www.zo-li.com.  They have a BPA, PVC, Phtalate free battery operated nasal aspirator – though I am going to wait and see if I can’t manage with the old fashioned bulb that comes with my Giggle kit.

This is the perfect shower gift for a Pisces. They have that whole Florence Nightingale thing going on.